My character, Bliss, is finally reaching level 15. It’s a unique feeling to feel proud for a character’s progress. I remembered her having embarrassing moments, her silent nature prevented her from standing out. But now, she’s grown in power but her gentle spirit still remains. She’s still into animals, and holds onto her tiny Zorbo teddy bear, and gushes over tiny beasts.
.
Bliss was originally based from an actual story character I created. I decided that, if I created a D&D character inspired from an actual story character, maybe I’d be inspired to complete the story. Or maybe this was yet another excuse to avoid writing. Here’s to another abandoned story idea.
.
On the other hand, it’s still quite effective. At each level she grows, my attachment for her waxes too. I’ve entered her shoes, and adventured with her enough to get a better grasp of her personality. A lot of her actions in game would make me explain why she did such things.
.
This brings me to the attention of, why do I avoid writing so much? Is it because of the many mistakes I know I’ll make? I now realize that such a thought is like saying, I can’t run because I’m not an established, and trained runner. This habit has been restrictive, greatly repressive. Sure, I do not have perfect grammar, but writing has always been my main voice. My fingers voice out what I can’t express through spoken word. They are the direct link to my mind, a window to my soul, ideas, dreams, feelings and thoughts.
.
I don’t want to keep self-inflicting this damage on myself.
.
So, Bliss? Thank you for being what you are. A fictional character representing a fictional tale. I think it’s time that I wrestle with the true monsters of my mind : perfectionism, self-criticism, lack of belief, procrastination, overthinking and anxiety.
.
I can’t wait to be a level 15 writer, just as you are a level 15 adventurer. I shall now prepare, take a deep breath and write.
